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(no subject) [Feb. 16th, 2006|07:07 pm]
That's IT! I'm not leaving my house again till spring thaw!!!
Bring on the piles of carelessly tossed garbage and the smells of thawing dog shit!

I am officially a pussy.
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i promise my next entry will be much more uplifting [Feb. 15th, 2006|07:48 pm]
[Current Mood |blahblah]
[Current Music |random itunes mix]

Today i remember why i left this city in the first place. Not that i haven't had plenty of reminders since being back, but...
First off it's -20 degrees Celcius outside ( -4 Fahrenheit for those in the US of A). It's damn cold, and i'm not complaining cuz it's been an extraordinarily mild winter over the last few months, but it's still really fucking cold (& it will get worse). Also, it's mid february, which means the winter blues have officially set in. It seems that everyone around me (myself included) is bummed out. Consensus at work is a combination of stress & blahs. Waking up in the morning is a real ordeal, dragging your sorry ass out the door to your dead-end job is torture. Add to this the measly wage i'm dragging in and the whole situation is just bloody bleak.

wah waH wah... i know... stop bitching.

Another thing to get off my chest though...

McNally Robinson, the bookstore that i work for is one of a few stores that has refused to sell the Calgary Standard magazine featuring the inflammatory cartoons depicting Mohammad. Since the decision was made the issue is inescapable. I spent 2 hours yesterday forwarding 'feedback' emails from people condemning & a few supporting the choice. I've come to realize that i can't sit idly reading rants & raves from people (whether intelligent or juvenile) without getting worked up myself and wanting to participate in some sort of dialogue. Of course i didn't... but i was pissed off all day about it. Never mind the older british lady who's worked at the store for god-knows-how-many-years going on about us being CHICKENS, and that depicting Mohammad with a bomb is perfectly appropriate since THEY are bombing people after all. .........ugh

ok... i'm done.

I better find some magical happy juice(?) somewhere soon.

Any suggestions?
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(no subject) [Jan. 28th, 2006|10:17 pm]
I should clarify; my rant had nothing to do with Neil Labute. It just had to do with the need to remake classic, cult, or beautiful peices of cinema.

Which i obviously think is stupid.
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stupid rant... and making myself laugh some. [Jan. 22nd, 2006|07:30 pm]
I found out yesterday that Neil Labute (In the Company of Men, Your friends & Neighbors) is doing a remake of the WICKER MAN. huh?
WTF? Now, that's just silly. No wait, it's stupid. And worse yet, Nicolas Cage will be playing the main character (the sheriff). I realize that hollywood is plain out of ideas and that it would be lost these days without the 'remake' but come on. I got pushed too far when i found out about Solaris being redone. Cuz, that was just plain unnecessary ( & insulting). The thing is, the Wicker Man is a bad movie. I mean, it's good because it's bad. It's cheesy and creepy and bizarre, the acting is (mostly) bad and the soundtrack is great. It has a cult following for these reasons and more. What are they gonna do? Shyamalan it up, like the Vilage? Ugh....

I guess nothing is sacred. I'm gonna propose some 'remakes' to hollywood, get on the bandwagon...

SWEET MOVIE: starring Charlize Theron as Captain Ann, Kiera Nightly as Miss Canada, Cillian Murphy as the Potempkin Sailor. Guest starring: Lars Von Trier & the cast of the Idiots as the Otto Muehl baby commune, and Billy-Bob Thornton as Mr.Kapital (the man with the golden penis).
Directed by: Robert Altman

huh? Whattya say? Am i the only one getting a kick out of this???

Hmm... How about a remake of ERASERHEAD done by Speilberg???

(I was gonna suggest LIQUID SKY but realized the updated screenplay is probably already sitting on some hollywood jackasses desk as i write this).

ok, i'm done.
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(no subject) [Dec. 26th, 2005|08:45 pm]
[Current Music |the Documentary channel in the background]

Well i survived xmas.
It really was quite manageable, a little hectic socializing with every darn person i am related to, but it was all right.
Mostly i am amazed i survived working in retail during the xmas season... unscathed even.

This morning Travis left to go to Saskatoon for the week to visit his family, there is a lot of shit happening with his side these days and it's good that he managed to get back to spend some time with them. It occurred to me as i was leaving work that although i will be al alone in my bed for the next few days, my friends Tara & Faisal will be back tonight to make our living room their home base for the next week. I decided to walk home from work and savor the first time i've been alone in days. It was soooo nice. It's misty & foggy and mild tonight. I walked home through the neighborhood i grew up in (which is only blocks from where we're living presently), I made sure to walk by old friends houses, my elementary/junior high school, the house i spent half of my youth in... I stopped in the alley behind the house for a minute and thought about how detached i felt from it. Yet at the same time it contained so many memories.

It's a strangely eerie feeling walking through such a familiar place, one you know instinctively, but really have no connections to anymore.

The Hockey rink that's set up beside our building illuminates the field sooo beautifully... it pours into the windows with this white blue light. Until 10:00 hits and the stark light is replaced by the warm orange glow of the street lights. As silly as it sounds Winnipeg in the winter ir really beautiful.

I should really go out there and shoot...
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happy birthday to me... [Dec. 17th, 2005|09:26 pm]
[Current Music |my lady cat Layna snoring]

Today i turned 29 years old and i'm in winnipeg and it's the coldest day so far this winter. I'm stuffed with thai food and warm & cozy in our tiny apartment.

Travis spoiled me this morning with a string of gifts. A book i'm excited to read, salt & pepper shakers i have been admiring for months, and a baby grand piano that chimes like church bells when you hit the keys. It's amazing, with an open chamber where i can go nuts doing prepared 'piano' pieces. It needs legs, but it's about 2.5 feet square and black and the top opens like a large grand and it's wonderful! It deserves it's own room... or at least a studio where i can record with it.

This is the third (major) thing since arriving in Winnipeg that has really triggered ideas for sound pieces. It's time to stop procrastinating and get to work.
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cold & happy [Dec. 10th, 2005|05:19 pm]
Call me crazy... but i am really enjoying the cold. Even when i'm scrunching my face up in pain, cuz i forgot to wear my toque even though i'm only walking 2 blocks, and my ears are numb by the time i get inside. Yup... I find it invigorating! I keep saying i'll be sick of it come January. But for the time being, and before it dips to under -30 degrees, i'll savor it. Of course with the trip continuing east next year, i'll have winter (real winter) back in my life for a while.

For some reason, i am in a really good mood today. I have absolutely no explanation for it. My only rationalization for it is that i have a chemical imbalance of some kind. Not to say that i mind it. It's a welcome change, that's for sure.
I dyed my hair all by myself today (wow what an accomplishment). Then i went out and bought myself a new pair of boots with some much welcomed x-mas cash. It kept striking me how silly it was that i was doing these things by myself. I mean, where's a girlfriend to help me make sure i don't get dye all over the back of my neck when i need her? Now that i think about it, i've never really had a girlfriend that i shopped with. Besides the fact that generally i hate shopping, i've just never had a gal-friend that i've done that kind of stuff with. Not since high school anyhow.
Seems i've dug myself into a bit of a reclusive rut.

That said, i'm still in a really good mood.

It's my birthday next week. One week today... what on earth will i do?
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too damn cute [Dec. 10th, 2005|03:18 pm]

too damn cute
Originally uploaded by absent1.

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(no subject) [Nov. 30th, 2005|06:45 pm]
Well... just as i suspected. There is nothing wrong with my heart.
I have always been really distrusting of medical doctors. Not to say that they don't have a place, hell when you need your appendix out then they come in handy. It's just that i always leave appointments with this feeling that they don't really have a clue what they're talking about. Most of the time it's a combination of disinterest on their part, lack of listening to the patient and then coming up with some half-assed solution. They don't explain their conclusion and most of the time sound like they are grasping at straws.

"I'm going to prescribe you some antibiotics, we'll see if that takes care of it"

Needless to say, said doctor made me stay and get some blood tests, tests for things that i only had tested a few months ago (only to find out that all my vitamin levels were just fine, thank-you).

I know that i get a little bit know-it-all-ish. But it just feels like i'm always disappointed when i actually reach out for a 'higher' opinion. Most of the time i have a pretty damn clear idea of what the problem is all by myself. So... what's my point? Just a winding down from work tirade, that's all.
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heart play [Nov. 21st, 2005|10:01 am]
Last friday i went for an EKG. I still don't understand why they abbreviate it to EKG when it stands for ElectroCardioGram. None the less....
I had a strange sort of episode on the thursday which kept me home sick from work with a terrible headache. I went to the walk in clinic near by and explained to the doctor what had happened. He was stumped. My blood pressure was low but nothing to worry about, he said. He asked me details of what i had done that morning, when the last time i ate was. I explained that it was all routine, nothing out of the ordinary. He admitted he really didn't know. "It must have been a drop in your blood sugar." Hmm... ok, well i guess i'll accept that. Then he hesitated and asked if i had ever had an EKG. "Nope". Well i'm going to send you to get one, just to make sure that everything is ok. I got the feeling that he was kind of grasping at straws. "Come back next week and we'll take a look at it".

So, the next morning i went for the test. I wasn't nervous as i had a pretty good feeling this was just a overly cautious suggestion. I also have to admit that i have a strange sort of fascination with having different examinations performed on me. (Within certain parameters). So, i laid down on a table, with my jeans rolled up and my medical robe off my shoulders. The nurse attached little metallic stickers around my breast and two on the top of my shins. Then she clamped insulated wires to each of the stickers. All i had to do was lay there and breathe. Within a minute or two a page started printing from what looked like a fax machine beside the bed.
"That's it", the nurse said. Quick and painless.

As i left the office i was thinking about two things. The first was, well there's another weird life experience to check off the list. The second was triggered by an episode of 30 Days that i had seen recently. (30 Days is the reality show created by Morgan Spurlok - of Super Size Me fame- where two people from totally different walks of life enter each others world for 30 days). The episode i just saw had Morgan & his girlfriend live on minimum wage in the USA for 30 days. You'd think it would be pretty straight forward, but it was pretty intense. They each had the unfortunate luck of having to go the hospital once during the month. One for a prescription of antibiotics and the other for a wrist exam & tensor bandage. At the end of the month when their bill came it added up to over $1300! Madness!!
I thought as i walked away from the clinic how much an EKG must cost in the US. In all likelihood there won't be anything wrong with my heart (let's hope!) but at least i have the luxury of knowing for sure, without having to go hungry for a few months.
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